Thursday, 26 July 2012

Letter to a tyrannical teacher!

(this should sort of rhyme, if read in the right way... I hope)


Dear Miss Downing...

Once upon a time there was a 6 year old school-girl...
She was skinny & freckly & a little bit plain & awkward.

She hated school & had few friends. She was always much happier at home.
Sometimes she would be picked on by the other pupils for not being 'typical' or conforming to the 'norms'... Occasionally she would kick back (literally & metaphorically) so, mostly they left her ALONE!

She wasn't very brave, or beautiful... but she was VERY bright!... So much so that teachers tested & measured her & forced her to perform for them & when those scores came back as her having an IQ of the highest order... 
...they pigeon holed her as "a bit of an eccentric genius"... & then, much to the girls relief, they mostly ignored her.

But she just wouldn't get those thoughts of hers down on the paper... & they grew frustrated with her for not doing things in the way that they meant....
... & after many battles they just gave up on her & she shrank into the background & stared out of the window... & in her dream world she was occasionally left to be content!

But you, Miss Downing... YOU were not to be usurped!.... No young whipper-snapper EVER got the better of you... 
No child was ever left behind in your classroom.

You would make your mark on the hearts and minds of every poor unfortunate sent your way... 
Nobody was ever going to forget the impact YOU had on them, were they!?! 

You bullied & you shouted & you mocked every little thing you could get your vicious claws into... & you were NOT to be ignored!
And if any of those fragile wee things tried to be invisible in your presence you would call them out, pull them up, write their name on the board!

But for one set of 10 year old's it was to be doubly painful.
One year of your torture & wickedness & menacing ways would have been more than enough to bear... 
...but they were treated to a change of teacher a few months after they thought they'd escaped you... & once again you were there.
In your horrible brown cotton canvas dresses, with the sweaty armpit patches & the withering stare.

No-one could ever fathom why you chose to be a teacher...You really seemed to hate kids... & other human beings... & I'd hazard a guess at small furry animals too... 
No wonder you stayed a 'Miss'.
School was hellish enough & really quite tough, but oh so much more so day in & day out with you!

And on Parents Evening every child in your class would know that there was no hope of a pass... or an encouraging word or a kindly critique... No extra points for being nice, well behaved or unique.

So when you told the girl's mother "Your daughter's quite lazy... She's not really that bright & her logic's quite hazy"... It came as no surprise!
Then with bile from your tongue & spite in your eyes you tried to get in one final dig...

"If this girl doesn't apply herself... discipline & deny herself... she go nowhere in her life you know... I see her future quite clearly in fact.... 
She's going to end up sat on a fence, in Ireland, chewing a piece of grass."

And the girl's mother, a some time dreamer herself, said she thought at the time, but didn't dare say (coz you even effected grown adults that way)...

 "That wouldn't really be a bad life"...

& you both were correct!

Fancy that! :)


  1. And that plain little girl grew up to be a strong and beautiful woman, a great mother and an inspiration to others... and her story is far from over.

  2. Why thank you, kind bee man! ;) xx

  3. That could have been me, although they did not know I was bright they criticised all the time and I got two years of the bitchiest teacher going, she picked on and exposed the shy ones. She used to pick and eat her toenails in front of the class : (